One consequence of the continuous chemotherapy regimen is sleeplessness. It's not extreme, and it can be managed with drugs that (probably) don't have terrible long-term consequences, notably Benadryl. But at certain points of the cycle, I can get almost exactly 4 hours of good sleep--and then I am awake, as if I'd just had a double Americano and a slap in the face.
Possibly because of previous experience with the above-named therapies, I am not distressed to find myself in this position at 3 or 4 AM. Sometimes I welcome the quiet and have thoughts that are useful and constructive. Sometimes I reflect on a dream (inevitably weird). Sometimes I can't be totally sure what I've got.
So--I have been introduced to the concept of mindfulness on many occasions, and it has always seemed like the right approach to pretty much everything in life. Especially to driving a car, though that is rarely mentioned. It also has, at various times, seemed just like some cultural buzzword worthy of derision by the broletariat. In any case, mindfulness is not always achieved (I suppose) even by its most enlightened practitioners, and is less often, rarely, achieved by those of us who practice whatever it is we practice.
One recent night, my eyes open in the dark, I thought about several specific moments when I should have been mindful but was not. The consequences of having not been mindful, the possibility that life might have been altered positively had I been so, etc.
Remindfulness! OK, maybe this has been done. I think psych therapists have spent some decades here. But maybe I could do a TED talk? Otherwise, watch out--there could be a whole lot blog posts on this theme. Sorry.
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